A “Best Advice For Incoming Clemson Students From Those Who’ve Been There” Limerick

I am a very proud alum of Clemson University. I entered there in the Fall of 1970, the year that Clemson introduced THE PAW as its logo. It was a time of great social change in the United States and some of that change found it’s way to western South Carolina. It was unofficially the end of “Rat Season” which included a tradition of incoming freshman men cutting their hair to a sixteenth of an inch. That had me a little worried but I never had to deal with it.

I was a stranger in a strange land when I entered. I am a Cleveland, Ohio Jew. During my entire time at Clemson from 1970-1975 there were more Jewish members of the faculty then Jewish students. I was good with that. I was coming from a public high school that was 95% Jewish. There was no one else at Clemson with that experience. I embraced my uniqueness. One of the reasons I chose Clemson was that I wanted a “real world” experience and Clemson was more like the real world than Beachwood High School.

But the main reason I chose Clemson was for the adventure. And what an adventure I had there. I didn’t know a single person when I got there. I was somewhat of a campus personality by the time I graduated. I became an actor, I had a part in a movie and, most importantly, I made friends that I am still friends with today.

I LOVE CLEMSON and everything about it. The campus is beautiful and the climate is the best in the US east of the Mississippi River. When I hear Tiger Rag, my heart races.

EMBRACE THE ADVENTURE. Clemson will be a big part of the story of your life. Make it a story that you love to tell.

All that said, I now have to be the me that Clemson helped shape. I am a poet and humorist. I am currently working on writing projects for my genre of choice – the limerick. So when I saw the post on the Clemson Facebook page asking for the best advice I could offer an incoming freshman, my silly side decided that after I offered some real advice worth every cent that the new incoming freshmen paid for it and less, I needed to offer something to help ease the tension of being away from home for the first time and living with a stranger in a communal setting. After all, college is a place for first experiences and there is good chance that an incoming freshman might have this one.

Which led to this –

If you’re new to the dorm life game,
You’ll find that it’s anything but tame.
It could be terrifying
When roomie’s self gratifying….
Step back and ask, “Does that hand have a name?”