A Woman’s Prerogative Limerick

I have a friend who has a very wonderful purse and handbag collection. She has great taste and a great eye for fashion. My friend has been able to have all the great designers in her collection. I have had the fun and pleasure of accompanying her when she has been looking to add to the collection. I can’t see how having a little expertise in handbags can be a bad thing. And I still find it interesting that a wallet can cost more than half of the cars I had in college – a lot more!

We recently did a little purse shopping but not for the collection. We were looking for a nice little functional purse at Macy’s. There was 2000 square feet of store space for this type of merchandise. Perspective – same size as my house. While my friend and her girls were making a selection from the many hundreds of bags they were sifting through, this little thing popped in my head…

Indecision – is there anything worse?
So a woman’s prerogative is really a curse.
With so much doubt,
I’ll never figure out…
How a woman picks out a purse!

A “Black Friday” Limerick

Thanksgiving is next week and that is truly the start of the season of over indulging. We have to push ourselves away from the table on Thursday and push ourselves into the stores on Friday or now Thursday night. We morph from gut busters into deal busters going straight from lining up at the dessert table to lining up outside of Target and Wal-Mart. Is this a great country or what? Overeating and over spending…a capital holiday tradition.

Black Friday is just a week away
When super shoppers fly into the fray.
Retail’s year depends
On how much everyone spends…
Hopefully, spending frenzy rules the day!

A “Buying The Wife A Birthday Present” Limerick

My beloved wife’s birthday is tomorrow October 5th. Inexplicably, I almost forgot it which is dumfounding as I use 5 & 10 on my lottery ticket and those are special numbers for me as my wife shares a birthday with one of my best friends and my late wife’s birthday was May 10th. Needless to say, I have yet to win the lottery with those numbers on a ticket, so they ain’t metaphysically special…yet. And I still play every 5-10 exacta box I can in a race with a ten horse field

Today I have to buy her a birthday present. That is not going to be easy. For one thing, she is not a material girl and clothes and jewelry are not on her radar. And, of course, the first rule of buying presents for a wife is in place – no kitchen devices or small appliances (or large ones, either) unless specifically asked for with make, model and where to get it. You’d be amazed at how fast a slow cooker can bring a broad to a rapid boil. You can literally go from out of the electric fry pan into the fire. She is not going to be the kind of hot you are hoping for.

The things you have to go for when buying a present for a wife are thoughtful and romantic. Flowers are usually good. You must buy a card. Gift wrap very important. Gag gifts…sleep with your eyes open. And all of this thought about wife gifts led to this:

For some men, buying the wife gifts makes them frantic.
For others, the exercise is pedantic.
Guys, don’t be a fool.
Follow this simple rule –
You’re a hero with something romantic.

Pedantic – means overly intellectual for the situation at hand. It gives the impression the person is showing off how much he or she knows.

Hey, romantic and frantic are very tough words to rhyme!