A Should I Say Thanks For Not Asking Limerick

I am resisting aging with all my might. I’m holding up mentally. Physically is another story. I have always remained fit since my high school days. I still like working out and playing sports. That part of physically is fine. It’s the bald, gray, bags under my eyes, have to take a pill to piss part of physically that is messing with me.

I start out every day by walking into the bathroom, looking in the mirror, screaming and going about my business. It’s been a daily ritual for a long time. However, I recently made the mistake of moving in for a closer examination. It wasn’t pretty. I saw the dreaded “O” word staring back at me.

The day before this self observation took place, I stopped at a fast food joint for a cup of coffee. I got a nice senior discount…without asking for it. That led to the mirror which led to this –

It seems I’m approaching the geriatric stage
And how fast I’m going has been hard to gauge.
Oy, even at my best
I fail the mirror test…
It’s senior price now without asking my age!

A “Senior Perspective” Limerick

We change the way we look at a lot of things as we get older. And priorities change. When we are newly weds in our twenties and thirties, men think that the bedroom is the most important room in the house. In our forties and fifties, that changes to the kitchen and after that, the kitchen doesn’t lose it’s lofty status but the bathroom may move up the chart and pass the bedroom for second place. I can say that fortunately, the bedroom is still ahead of the bathroom in my world…an on any given night the bedroom can still give the kitchen a run for it’s money.

But I am a lucky guy. First of all, I am old, bald, toothless and unemployed and I still was able to find someone who loves me and she is not deaf, dumb, blind and smell impaired. What are the odds??? AND, she is a fabulous cook. She knows her way around the kitchen. She loves to cook and I love to eat (as best I can), so we are a match made in heaven (maybe literally…) But, as they say, you have to take the bad with the good…

And it led to this

I’ve been officially put on alert
She said her libido’s inert
I said, “With your cooking skills
Who needs sexual thrills?”
She said, “I think I’ll start making dessert!”