A Borscht Belt Senior Sex Limerick

I find the punchlines for my limericks in a lot of different places. My friends supply most of them. But current events and television provide many opportunities to hear something that just begs to become a limerick. This ditty came from TV.

I was watching JLTV (Jewish Living TV). They were showing a program of “classic” Jewish comedians and I turned it on in the middle of an old Borscht Belt routine being performed by a comic I didn’t recognize. He was doing his shtick with a “Jewish” accent, pronouncing his “s’s” like “sh” and his “w’s” like “v.” He looked familiar, but how could he not? He kind of looked like me and a whole lot of other Jewish guys I know – chiseled ethnic features (big nose and bushy eyebrows) and a chrome dome (bald).

He was telling a joke about one of my favorite subjects, Senior Sex, and I was riveted. When he got to the punchline, I knew that I had to turn the joke into a limerick. Hey, goniffing is a time honored tradition among Jewish comedians. And it led to this……

Senior Sex can be daunting when new,
So she wondered what she’d have to do.
She said, “Be honest with me.”
He replied, “Infrequently.”
And she asked, “Is that one word or two?”

A Just When I Thought I Might Be Less Immature Limerick

I thought that once I got to 60 that those uncontrollable urges to behave like a college sophomore would go away or at least not come around as much. What I have come to find is that is not the case and those urges are becoming a more regular occurrence. It happens almost all the time when I am writing limericks. That’s when I am laughing out loud at my own stupid jokes and, of course, having the most fun. My process starts with a punch line that hits the paper and then it is anything goes from there.

It is especially fun when the punch lines come during a ball busting session with your best buds. Who else do you get to test your material on? I am pretty lucky. I have some good friends that tolerate my silliness and encourage it

Houston was supposed to get blasted by a tropical storm. I called one of my regular test dummies to let him know that I was on high ground with matzo ball soup, a carrot cake, and other fun stuff and that I was accepting refugees from flooding zones. During our conversation, I mentioned that I had been told by my new girlfriend that I would be receiving a surprise shortly. Then I tested the punch line of the limerick that came from it on him and his response was a punch line in and of itself –

My girlfriend’s as sweet as she can be.
She said she has a surprise for me.
I so wanted to inquire,
But I fought off the desire….
To ask, “Is it going to burn when I pee?”

My buddy’s response to the punch line – “That’s exactly what I was thinking!”