An “It’s Opening NFL Sunday” Limerick

It is that day that America has been waiting for. It is the opening Sunday of the NFL season. It’s been seven months since the Super Bowl. The NFL held it’s annual draft. The free agency period got the fans excited. Training camp and the exhibition games have come and gone. It’s SHOWTIME.

NFL football is a game and it is a multi-billion dollar business. The league owns its own television network. The networks pay $20 billion for the broadcast rights and the cost of putting a game on television for the networks is million per game. It is park your rear end on the sofa bright and early for the Sunday morning pre-game shows and see what the experts and ex-players have to say about todays games, not that we haven’t been watching the sports networks since the final gun went off at last seasons Super Bowl. What will Frank Caliendo come up with to kick off the season?

And what will the game predictions be? Gambling on NFL football is a multi-billion industry unto itself with Nevada casino gambling, offshore gambling, local book maker gambling and fantasy football. It is the game with the most action in every sense of the word.

They gave us a taste on Thursday night with an opening game. But today is THE DAY.

It’s superstitions
Game day traditions
Tailgate grills
Highlight show thrills
Fantasy league stars
Watching games in sports bars
Wearing team logo gear
Drinking some beer


It’s the first week of the NFL.
For teams and fans, time for show and tell.
Let’s see what you got.
Which teams a “have” or “have not,”
And who’s ready to answer the bell!

Have fun everyone!

A Senior Heavy Eyelids Limerick

Despite my having chronic Peter Pan Syndrome, my body has not been able to will itself to remain youthful. I have always been dedicated to working out and trying to keep my body fit and as young as possible. It has worked well for most of my body. I have been able to control my hypertension, one of the only things my mother left me, my flexibility, and my weight and cholesterol. But aging coupled with my genes has affected my hair (mostly gone and the little bit left gray), my prostate and my eyes.

One of the natural progressions of aging is the transformation from night hawk to early bird. As we age, we get up earlier and earlier. For me, the most difficult step of the day is still the first swing my legs out of bed and put my feet on the floor step. But now, when I feel the floor under my feet, the first words out of my mouth are, “Woo Hoo. I made another one!”

In my youth, I was definitely a late night person. In college, I either studied all night or partied all night or shtupped all night (those were the days). As I grew older and had to be responsible and hold a job, the latter two activities became more and more relegated to the weekend. Now as a senior they are mostly a figment of my imagination. I am still able to occasionally do both, however, finding someone to do them with has become a challenge, especially because I am married. My wife is in bed at nine o’clock every night and up at 5 AM.

One thing that has not changed is that I am a sports nut and this is great time of year for watching sports on television with the NBA and NHL finals. I watch the beginnings of all these games. I can usually make it to halftime. Since I got married in October, I don’t drink beer during the games which increases my chances. But unfortunately, I do not find out the outcome of the games until I turn on ESPN at 5:15AM the next morning. I have made many a valiant effort to watch a game to its conclusion, but despite the possible great drama that could be unfolding, when the eyelids get heavy, the room goes dark. A game winning buzzer beater could be in the air, if gravity, weight and age take over my eyelids, I am not seeing if it goes in. It has happened too many times not to call it a senior affliction.

And it has led to this:

This senior affliction is really a shame.
At 10PM, my eyelids go lame.
Before I start to snore,
What I’m hoping for…
Is to see the end of a game!