A “Day After The Election” Limerick

I have been off the limerick trail for a while, even though the campaign trail is a gold mine for material. However, I have not found this to be an election that I wanted to write jokes about. It is, seriously, not a joking matter. I have never seen an election like this and, God willing, I will not see another one like it.

I am not a person that would express a political opinion on social media. It is not my place for that. I read a lot of political opinion on social media and it reinforces my decision to go Abe Lincoln – Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

I will make a prediction about tomorrow, Election Day 2016. I predict there are going to be a lot of people in this country consuming a great deal of booze and weed. America will be doing some drinking and copping a buzz. Tomorrow is going to be a numbing experience for many.

Which means that America is going to wake up on Wednesday with a hangover. I was thinking about this while folding my laundry and when I opened my underwear drawer, this popped into my head.

You can’t say “No” to “Just one more.”
So you wake up aching and sore.
And then your universe
Only gets worse…..
You have an empty underwear drawer.

A Presidential Election Limerick

It’s an election year. Lucky us. 350 million people get to pick the one person to be the leader of the free world. Most of those people will not participate in the process. Many can’t due to being under the voting age or being too old to get to the polls. But the majority of non-participants think that their voice will not be heard and their vote doesn’t really count. And they may be right. I have written about this previously. Almost 2500 years ago, Aristotle said that Democracy is the lowest form of government – to paraphrase his reasoning, it’s the inmates running the asylum.

And the choices we are given this year. Oy vey. The two party system has a way of giving us the best sound bites and in an era where style has replaced substance, what you see does not come close to what you get. Which reminds me of something all of our fathers warned us about when we were growing up in the form of this old saying, “Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.”

I woke up at 2AM with most of this banging around between my ears….

Elections are about making choices
From the din of ideological voices.
Is this Democracy’s dirge
Or will someone emerge
As a leader in whom the whole world rejoices?

According to the racing form, it’s a longshot at best!

A Six Line (Yes, it took six lines for this one!) State of The Union Limerick

I try to keep my limericks light and use them for jokes about relationships, sex, marriage, and getting old which are things that I know just enough about to be able to write my dumb jokes. But every so often, current events or some other serious thing causes me to think and reflect and make an observation and/or comment. I did that when the government was on the brink of shutting down because the partisan politics in Congress chose to butt heads rather than seek solutions. What this country now has is a very small number of buttheads (relative to the population of this great country) elected by an even relatively smaller number of citizens making decisions and laws that effect 350 million people in this country and around the world. This small powerful group exercise their rights to participate in the political process by buying elected officials on every level of government. And those bought and paid for elected public servants (?) are obligated to the smallest minority in the country, the people who garner power by using their wealth and influence to put their people into these positions of power. It is mind boggling to me.

I was thinking about this yesterday and this popped into my head. It was so disturbing that my creative process went into warp. I found myself in a parking lot writing it down and I realized that five lines was not going to do it. I wound up writing a mutant limerick about our mutant political situation. Trump is a mutant, right? But so Is Obama. Cover your heads and grab your ass – it’s election time.

Zealots claim to know what God would say.
And, of course, politics get in the way.
If our founding fathers only knew
Power would be held by so few…..
Smart people do stupid things every day
And it always has been and will be that way!