A The Lure Of The Loin Limerick

It has been said that men have a one track mind. A recent study at Ohio State of a college age sample revealed that college age men think of sex nineteen times a day, but not every seven seconds which is a myth. There is no disputing that men are preoccupied with carnal fantasies and the pursuit of recreational sex.

It reminds of the old saying:

A 2 at 10 is a 10 at 2 and that has led to some misadventures one might want to forget or have wiped out with electroshock therapy.

And it led to this:

After an indiscriminate chase,
There are memories we’d like to erase.
But the vertical smile
Has a compelling style…
And a pussy doesn’t have a face!

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No One Ever Got Pregnant From A Blow Job

That was the last thing that my father told me when he took me to college for the first time, right before he jumped into the car and drove off into the sunset. My dad was a man of few words but he always had sage advice that made sense. This is a perfect example and it led to this little ditty:

The problem with copulation
Is the risk of increased population.
Dear old dad always said
Get head instead
And take the risk out of ejaculation!

YUMMY

One good thing about being old is that you will have learned a lot of old sayings. The one bad thing about that is that you can’t remember many of them. But here is one old saying that has stuck with me – the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And there is a lot of truth to it. But it doesn’t hurt to know the short cut – through his zipper. And strangely enough, the two paths to a man’s heart can be figuratively and literally joined at the hip, so to speak.

Which leads me to the word “yummy”. I know that some of you are foodies and Food Network fans. I happen to be both. I love to eat. Love to eat pie.

I like watching the cooking shows and I have learned a lot from them. One thing that I learned is that the lady cooking show hostesses have a singular way of describing what they just made right after they stick it in their mouths – “yummy.” Everything is “yummy.” They could swollow a chicken bone and hack it up like a cat choking on a hair ball and after they finish gagging, they smile for the camera and go,”Yummy.”

When I was a kid there was a song in the charts with a lyric line, “Yummy, yummy, yummy. I’ve got love in my tummy.” The song was about a homosexual experience.

There is nothing masculine about the word.. I don’t see “yummy” working any magic on a man heart, other than raising the risk of heart disease. I assure you, there ain’t a cook in a deer camp that ever called anything “yummy”…..unless he was gay. Here’s where men are weighing in on “yummy.”

The Food Network divas have quite a following
For all the “yummy” in which they are wallowing.
Men only want to hear “yum”
Describe a mouthful of cum
After their diva’s done swallowing.