A Few Las Vegas Limericks – #2 & #3

I am not a gambler. A couple trips to the track and an annual buddy trip to Vegas. That’s it. I am not a sports gambler except when I’m in Vegas. I like to shoot craps but it is an easy come (no pun intended) easier go game with large minimum bets and lots of dice rolls per hour. That is too much disaster exposure for me. I like the horses. You can make small bets and there is twenty minutes between races. Though there are lots of tracks going at the same time so you can go as nuts as you want .

Vegas – one of the world’s most dangerous places
Where losers walk around with long faces.
To limit my remorse
I’ll bet a little on a horse
And there’s lots of time between races.

Call it risk management. Horse handicapping requires skill. You have to be able to analyze data from past performance and try to have a predictive model using variables that carry weight based on how the individual handicapper values them. I am a connection bettor. I like trainers and jockeys. When I am at the track, I like the eye test. I like to look at the horses in the paddock and see who is alert, who looks like a Marvel Comic Superhero horse, who looks like they would rather be somewhere else, who wants to do the Mr. Ed and tell me they’re going to win (I’d settle for a wink). But there are many variables to look at and that is the fun of it. That and the name bets and silk color bets that come in once in a blue moon.

If I pick a winner, I’m tickled pink.
Handicapping requires you think.
Not my strongest suit
So with my pony pursuit
I’m at the paddock looking for a wink.

Wanna guess how many times that happened?


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