An “Interfaith Marriage” Limerick

This is my second holiday season with wife number three. Last year we didn’t do much. We were coming off of our wedding and honeymoon in October. We lit a menorah for Hanukkah and hung some stockings, but we were not especially festive. This year, my darling wife wanted to get more into it and she wanted to put up a tree – a fresh real tree. She has an artificial tree which she has put up before, however, it is in the attic and it is a pain in the butt to schlep down and assemble. So she decided it was going to be an brought in fresh from Oregon fir tree. Hey, I’m good with whatever she wants and we have a truck. Besides, it would be my first real Christmas tree.

Wife #1 is very Jewish. There is a better chance that Jesus would show up at her door than her ever having a Christmas tree. Besides, she is a Scroogette extraordinaire – makes the Grinch look like one of Santa’s elfs.

Wife #2 self converted to Judaism and she became overly festive for Hanukkah. She had so many menorahs that if she lit them all they could light up a runway at the airport. This led to her being banned by me from going to Jewish gift shops. When her grandkids were with us, she put up stockings for the kids. No tree.

Wife #3 was raised Catholic and despite personal differences with the Catholic Church, she remains a Christian. There is a crucifix over the front door and a mezuzah on the doorpost. When we got married we had a minister and a rabbi. She is open minded and so am I. We have a great interfaith marriage.

We put up my first Christmas tree,
And I must say, it is something to see.
Despite both of our quirks
Our interfaith marriage works…
My wife uses more Yiddish than me!

Once she learned how much fun it is to say schtup, putz, schmuck, and her favorite, farkakte, it flows out of her like she’s Madeline Kahn in a Mel Brooks movie.

Ashley House 062

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