A “Bladder Infection” Limerick

It has been a while since I’ve had a limerick pop into my head. But I had a first time in my life experience on Thursday. After I got through the pain and suffering that accompanied it and I had a chance to think about it, with my usual somewhat offbeat sense of humor, something came to me.

I had a bladder infection. The symptoms were the type of things they tell you will happen if you get gonorrhea, which was impossible because in order to get gonorrhea you have to have sex with someone other than yourself. That has been a faint memory since I took on my toothless smile and inability to pucker. More on that later.

I hate to be graphic but I have to be in order to accurately describe what was happening to Mr. Winky. He was having a difficult time passing urine; he felt an urge four times an hour and any fluid he was able to eliminate felt like he was passing napalm. Taking a leak was something out of Dante’s Inferno. I had to put a wash cloth in my mouth during my frequent trips to the bathroom during the night. I was on the phone with the urologist’s answering service at 6AM Friday morning.

Fortunately, he is a friend. He called me at nine o’clock and told me to be in his office in an hour. I was. One quick look at my sample and they knew exactly what was going on – a bladder infection. What freaked me out was the cause – the catheter from the surgery ten weeks earlier. The word he used was “smolder” to explain how it happens. Burst into flames was an exact description of what happens from there. I had antibiotics and a problem specific pain med in me very quickly. Relief was not instantaneous but I was grateful for any improvement. By the end of the day I was able to lose the wash cloth. By Saturday morning I was able to stop gritting my teeth.

I had no idea that men got bladder infections. I had never known any men that had one. I knew lots of women who did because they blamed me for giving it to them. Obviously, I was not trying to hurt anyone. Now that I have experienced the pain and discomfort that I may have unintentionally caused someone, I apologize once again. This is clearly a case of Payback’s A Bitch…and it led to this….

A bladder infection is one wild ride.
Urinating hurt so much I cried.
I have to say
There’s gotta be a better way
To get in touch with your feminine side.


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