A “Buying The Wife A Birthday Present” Limerick

My beloved wife’s birthday is tomorrow October 5th. Inexplicably, I almost forgot it which is dumfounding as I use 5 & 10 on my lottery ticket and those are special numbers for me as my wife shares a birthday with one of my best friends and my late wife’s birthday was May 10th. Needless to say, I have yet to win the lottery with those numbers on a ticket, so they ain’t metaphysically special…yet. And I still play every 5-10 exacta box I can in a race with a ten horse field

Today I have to buy her a birthday present. That is not going to be easy. For one thing, she is not a material girl and clothes and jewelry are not on her radar. And, of course, the first rule of buying presents for a wife is in place – no kitchen devices or small appliances (or large ones, either) unless specifically asked for with make, model and where to get it. You’d be amazed at how fast a slow cooker can bring a broad to a rapid boil. You can literally go from out of the electric fry pan into the fire. She is not going to be the kind of hot you are hoping for.

The things you have to go for when buying a present for a wife are thoughtful and romantic. Flowers are usually good. You must buy a card. Gift wrap very important. Gag gifts…sleep with your eyes open. And all of this thought about wife gifts led to this:

For some men, buying the wife gifts makes them frantic.
For others, the exercise is pedantic.
Guys, don’t be a fool.
Follow this simple rule –
You’re a hero with something romantic.

Pedantic – means overly intellectual for the situation at hand. It gives the impression the person is showing off how much he or she knows.

Hey, romantic and frantic are very tough words to rhyme!


One thought on “A “Buying The Wife A Birthday Present” Limerick

  1. in search of a gift I did wander
    after hours and hours full of ponder
    a great choice, if you’ll believe
    was not well received
    she said take those golf clubs out yonder

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