A “Weight Loss Advice” Limerick

I found a comedy contest that might be right up my alley. It is PG contest – family friendly material only – and the contest is to gather material for a weight loss support video. It is called Giggle Off The Jiggle. The contest is this Friday for the prelims and Saturday finals. It may be a great venue for a limerick laden routine.

Here’s the link to the website:

http://www.giggleoffthejiggle.com/

I have lost 20 pounds since the end of March with a very unorthodox weight loss method – I had half of my lower teeth removed for a jaw replacement surgery. I was on a liquid diet for six weeks and then it moved to an easy to chew diet since I lost half of the loading platform, so to speak. I have nice medical grade titanium bar stretching from my left ear to past the middle of my chin. My ability to open wide has been very restricted. I can not eat a hot dog in a bun let alone a real good Jewish deli piled high corned beef sandwich. I have to use tongue depressors as shims for jaw stretching therapy. Now there has to be some prop humor with that for sure. I also see a post cremation scrap metal joke in there which should work well as there is a scrap metal advertising icon in Houston who pounds the television and radio airways with his slogan, “We’ll pay you in two dollar bills!” My x-ray looks like The Terminator.

I think I already have some limericks that I can work around with this stuff and I wrote this one just now.

It takes will power for weight loss to last.
The urge to splurge can come over you fast.
So if you’re feeling blue
And you see a drive thru
The right thing to do is drive past.

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