An “Unemployment” Limerick

I have been living the life of leisure since my surgery. My employer let me go. They said it was due to a speech impediment from having half of my lower teeth removed and they did not contest my unemployment. I also discovered some other benefits I was entitled to. So I am currently generating as much cash flow from not working as I was when I was working. Why would the wife have a problem with that? Well, for one thing the unemployment is going to run out. And for another, she works like a dog at her job so we can have health insurance. My days of working out in the mornings and then spending the rest of my day writing a limerick blog and watching ESPN, the Golf Channel and the Food Network are starting to wear on her. And Mama ain’t shy about expressing her views and opinions. Since I am only an argument away from poverty, her opinions carry a lot of weight with me. Not to mention that I do know the difference between right and wrong and her working her ass off while I sit on mine is wrong. So in an effort to keep from having to move under a freeway overpass, I am actively looking for a job.

Since I am a long way from paying stand up comedy gigs and making a living writing limericks and custom poetry, I am trying to find a straight job. I so hate the sound of that, but not as much as I would hate the sound of freeway traffic blowing over my head. And it led to this:

Work’s been something I’ve tried to avoid,
And I’m so good at being unemployed.
But my wife won’t condone
My attempts to postpone…
She’s starting to get rather annoyed!

More like spitting blood ready to order a few bags of lime and rent a backhoe pissed off!


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